K.I.T. — Keeping In Touch | Vol. III: Call Your Mother
K.I.T. — Keeping In Touch | Vol. III
Call Your Mother (And Your Godparents, While You’re At It)
By Kit Baumann, CSA® | Senior Living Advisor | Cedar Park & Austin, Texas
A few weeks ago, I flew to Charlotte, North Carolina to visit my godparents.
Yes — I have a godfather. His name is Al, and his wife Nancy is my adopted godmother. Together, they have been one of the greatest constants of my life — and I mean that literally. Their presence in my story began before I even entered the world. While my mother was still pregnant with me, Al was already our family’s babysitter, looking after my older siblings.
Al was a dance student of my mother’s when she was head of the Dance Department at Southeastern Louisiana University. As Nancy loves to tell it, Al was the star dancer. He quickly became something of a protégé to my Mama and went on to build a remarkable career in dance and academia.
Then, the Premier Danseur was asked to be the godfather of the last child.
Me.
The Godparents Who Showed Up — Every Single Time
Al and Nancy have never once forgotten my birthday or Christmas. Not once. I have to attribute this entirely to Nancy’s mother’s heart and her excellent organizational skills — Al is the star; Nancy is the reason the show runs on time.
During my years in New York City, I would often hop a train to their home in Kensington, Maryland, just to get out of the city and breathe. When they came to New York, they squeezed into my tiny apartment — and, our relationship only grew bigger.
They became, in every meaningful sense, surrogate parents.
My father died before I married. Al walked me down the aisle.
When I was finally confirmed in my late-twenties, Nancy was my sponsor.
Whatever the official definition of a godparent is supposed to be — Al and Nancy’s example should be written right into the description.
Stefan, Nancy and Al + Me!
The Part Nobody Warns You About
Seeing them age has been harder than I ever realized it would be. They were always the younger ones — the healthier ones, the more active ones. In my mind, they still are. We mourn the person they were and meet the person they are now. We learn to adapt. It’s beautiful and sad — and it’s okay to let it be both.
The pang in my heart after I flew home has lingered. It’s made me miss my mother and father all over again. And it has made my empathy for families navigating the aging journey even deeper and more personal than it already was.
We can’t stop the aging process. But we can face it with intention, with love, and with a plan.
What I Told Their Son — And What I’m Telling You
While I was in Charlotte, I sat down with my godparents’ son and walked him through the things I wish every family would do before a crisis forces their hand. As a Certified Senior Advisor, this is the counsel I offer every family I work with:
1.Get the legal documents in order — now. Make sure you have your parents’ Powers of Attorney in place — both medical and financial. My strong advice: designate one person to be in charge of each, or both. Medical decisions for a parent do not have to be made by committee. Sometimes a quick decision must be made on their behalf, and a room full of well-meaning siblings is not a decision-making body.
2.Review the estate plan. Make sure Wills, Trusts, and the overall Estate Plan are current and reflect your parents’ actual wishes. These documents have a way of getting outdated faster than anyone expects.
3.Locate and verify any Long-Term Care insurance. If your family was fortunate enough that LTC insurance was purchased, find the policy now — don’t wait until you need it. The declaration page may contain outdated information. Call the company to confirm the current terms, and check whether they have an online portal for access and communication. Many do now, and it can save you enormous frustration later.
4.Start the conversation about the future. Talk with your parents — while they are well, while there is time — about their preferences for aging at home versus moving to a senior living community. This conversation is never easy. But it is infinitely easier now than it will be in a crisis. Knowing what they want is a gift to everyone.
Honor Them While You Can
Al and Nancy have loved me faithfully for over sixty years. Visiting them in Charlotte wasn’t an obligation — it was a privilege. And I came home knowing, more than ever, that honoring the people who shaped us while we still can is one of the most important things we do.
If there is someone in your life like that — a parent, a godparent, a beloved elder — please don’t wait.
Call your mother. Call your godfather. Take the trip.
I wish I could call mine. Mama passed away in 2009, and I would give anything to hear her voice calling from across the house — “Kit, sweetheart, I’d love a little iced tea. Oh — and bring the cookies. All of them.” Mama never met a cookie she didn’t like.
And if you’re beginning to notice that the aging person you love might need more support than a phone call can offer, I’m here. Helping families navigate exactly this moment is what Senior Living Kit is all about.
Kit Baumann is a Certified Senior Advisor (CSA®) and the founder of Senior Living Kit, LLC — a boutique senior living placement and advisory firm serving families in Austin, Cedar Park, and across Texas, as well as families nationwide navigating senior living decisions from a distance. Learn more at seniorlivingkit.com.
You’re receiving this because you’re part of my K.I.T. community.
If that ever changes, just say the word.
